When people tick me off, it’s a great opportunity for me to look at where I can find it in myself. It’s not always easy, and I don’t necessarily do it immediately, but I eventually get there and use these times as opportunities to grow, and increase compassion for myself.
I’d like to share an example. One day I came home from work and found my husband sitting in his chair on the computer. The place was a mess, dishes not done, things to do! I was angry. I walked into the washroom and as I passed the mirror, I heard myself say “you are so lazy” (thinking I was talking about Ken). I have been doing this work for awhile now, so I knew it had nothing to do with Ken, I turned it around and said “I am so lazy” (and by the way, my husband is anything but lazy!). When I heard myself say that, I immediately said … “no I’m not. I go, go, go. When I get home from work, before I sit down and relax I have to clean the house, do the dishes, make sure everything is done”. I’m certainly not lazy. AND that’s the point. Ken knows how to take care of himself. He comes home after work and relaxes before he gets things done. He listens to what he needs and I was pissed off because I couldn’t. Make sense?
Today, I invite you to join me and affirm “I keep a cool head in heated situations”. Think about how you can avoid taking offense, stop, breathe and listen before reacting. Then, when you are in the right space and time, contemplate how what you are feeling about the other person might apply to you. Be kind to yourself and with your thoughts.